Cliff Calloway

"That's a fabulous way to put it. A double life, just like me."

- Cliff Calloway Cliff Calloway is a famous actor and costar to Wilhelmina Vanderjetski. Many women fawn over him because of his charm and manly essence that he exudes under the Hollywood lights. However, behind the scenes, he keeps secrets that complicate his famous life.

The Case of the Gilded Lily
Cliff is first introduced as one of the few people who know Wilhelmina Vanderjetski's real name. Because of this, he is seen as a suspect for who is blackmailing her. Ford visits him in an effort to learn more about him and the case.

When Ford approaches Cliff's dressing room door, he overhears some unsavory comments. However, Cliff quickly dismisses them as lines from a play he was rehearsing (this appears to be an excuse he uses often.) Once in the comfort of his own room, Cliff returns to smoking a cigarette and drinking a martini like drink. The two discuss Wilhelmina's secret life; at this time, Cliff slips up and reveals that he also knows what it is like to live a double life (that is, being closeted.) Dolly, a coworker of his, then opens the door (after knocking) to inform him that he has makeup in five. During this interaction, he switches to smoking a cigar and sittting in a more manly stance and asks her if she's left her "no-good" husband. She shyly replies that she hasn't, but, for him, she would leave her husband one day. The door shuts; he is once again left to chat alone with Ford. Cliff realises that trusting Wilhelmina with his biggest secret might not have been the best idea, on account that she has a hard time knowing when to stop talking.

After an unclear amount of time, Roger Haircremé opens the door to Cliff's dressing room. When he walks in, Cliff and Ford are still discussing fame and being a costar to Wilhelmina. Roger appears to be in a rather playful mood and teases Cliff for being such a "ladies man." To which he replies,"I love the ladies." However, Cliff's ruse is easy to see through. Shortly after, Buster Keaton, a man whose company Cliff does not enjoy, enters the room becuase he is upset at Roger. In an attempt to cool him down, Roger escorts him back out of the room to chat. Then, Cliff leads Ford to the exit. Cliff still holds an air of dignity while smoking, and Ford informs him that he is still a suspect. Then, the two part ways.

Several days later, Cliff and anyone else tied to Wilhelmina's case gather outside the movie premire of "Sufferin' Safari." He wants the gathering to be over quickly so that he can get back to watching himself perform in the film. In order to solve who has blackmailed Wilhelmina, Ford and Fig have everyone show the palms of their hands. If their hands have ink on them, then they are guilty. Cliff reveals his palms; they are clean. Eventually, it is revealed that Buster and Roger are the culprits, and Cliff is very shocked!

Other Tidbits
-Claudette Knickerbocker harbors a large crush on him that includes many fantasy daydreams and the belief that the only crime he has ever commited is being "too handsome."

-Fig Wineshine once called him "Turner Classics."

-Supposedly, Cliff hired Dash Gunfire at somepoint.

-It is heavily implied that he is gay.

-In the switcheroo readings, Cliff is played by Christopher Higgins